When I discovered it I don’t know, but I do know that I have been loving the idea since the very first time I set eyes on it. The boyfriend and me always check the site together on sundays, it’s our little tradition. And maybe this will be a new one, since this week I noticed many gender-ish (my own word for things that are in some way related to genderstudies, feminism or LGBT) postcards, on which I’m about to give my reflections. When time allows it, this might become a weekly feature, when gender-ish postcards present themselves.
The boyfriend could have sended this one in. He once exclaimed to me that he had a severe lack of gay friends, and just when he thought a girl in his circle of friends and acquintences was a gay, she got a boyfriend. Come to think of it, I don’t have many gay friends either. Just one, I think. A lot of bisexual friends though, and a few gay acquintances, but only one in my closer circle of friends, and I don’t see him that often anymore. Probably because the main “scenes” I hang out in are the metal-scene (where homosexuality is not that accepted, weirdly enough, if you consider all the gay/leather symbolism) and the bdsm-scene, where gay and straight people (+ female bisexuals) don’t mingle that much.
I find this an amazingly stupid and hurtful excuse. Of course, I don’t know the background of this card, but it seems to me that any violation of someone’s physical privacy cannot be excused by a lame reason like “yeah, puberty was weird”, which implicitly says “I could not help it, so you can’t blame me” . It feels as the same kind excuse that the asshole-ex used after our relationship, for forcing me to do sexual things I did not want (and went over my boundaries): “I did not know how the power relations in our relationship worked any more”. Use your brain to think, and not your penis, dammit.
Since when are daughters less important than sons? Well, of course, for ages and ages that has been the general idea, but you would say that in this day and age, especially in the western world, people would not be this ignorant. If that guy was my father, I’m not sure if I still wanted him to be my father any more, since apparently I am not valued, because of my gender.
Secrets like these last two, really show that this feminism still has quite some way to go. And there were even more, like this one, and this one.
source: postsecret.com
About two weeks ago, the boyfriend and I went to a party again, at the same location as last time. We had a good time, played a little (there were ice cubes between my boob and my shirt and he put a chain between my nipple-piercings, poor nipples), and although I felt submissive at times, I never was deeply subby.
A top drop. The plummeting of emotions into the negative spectrum regarding dominant feelings. Sometimes it entails feeling bad about the stuff the dominant did after the scene, sometimes it happens during a scene. It is difficult to overcome the lessons learned by our society: you do not hit other people, especially not if they are women. Raping, humiliating, using another human being are all Very Bad Things, that Normal People Just Don’t Do. Doing bdsm as a dominant goes against all those lessons, and even though you know you’re doing them with a consenting adult, does not make the bad feelings go away. Also, a top drop can be what the boyfriend experienced: a sudden doubt of the own capabilities as a dominant. Sometimes this follows the feelings as described above, but it can also stand on itself, like in our situation.
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