Posts tagged food

Life experiments

I really like the idea of taking an experimental view on life (I am a scientist after all). Trying out something new, a way of eating, sleeping, working, living, to see how it affects me and my life. And then continuing it or not, or just have another interesting experience to remember.

In September last year I tried juicefasting, and failed miserably. Which was not a sad thing, because it made me discover I really really like food, and not eating is really really not good for my mood.

Another example, also in the food department: some months ago I cut out sugar (almost) completely, which worked quite well for me. I was quite grumpy the first week, but I did not really miss the foods and drinks I chose not to eat. It was a positive experience. (I did start eating sugar again, because, well, sugar is nice! and difficult to avoid at times)

There are other things I’d like to try out as well:

  • Not talking for a day or two

And of course, those should be days I don’t spend home alone. Preferably work days even (although I think picking a day without already scheduled meetings might be handy)

  • Eat vegan for a while

Starting with a week or so. Seeing how easy or difficult it really is.

  • Do something creative each day for a week

Should be easy with all the inspirational stuff I see/read/have around, but getting around and actually doing stuff is hard

  • Getting up at 6am for a week or so

To see if that works for me, although it is going to be difficult because of the evening-meetings I tend to have a few times a week, which lead to me going to bed late.

  • No news for a while

No newspapers, no radio, no internet-news-sites. Let’s see how well I hold up, because I do like my daily dose of what’s happening in the world

  • Try out running.

I hate running. I run when I have to catch a bus, I usually say. But I did read a very simple and attractive running-schedule in a magazine I read (actually the only magazine I faithfully buy and read each time it comes out), so maybe I should try it out, to see what all the buzz is about.

  • Do something sexual daily for at least a week.

I do masturbate daily, but some more active attention to sexuality would not hurt, and is probably even very nice and entertaining.

Anyone any other interesting or challenging suggestions?


Comments (2) »

2009 Wrap up

What happened in 2009? What were the changes, the significant events, the goals for next year?


The relationship with my mom stayed the same, good as ever, and the bond with my dad grew a bit stronger, which was a welcome change. He also started to feel happier this year, which is an extremely good thing, after years of being somewhat depressed.

My grandparents moved into a apartment close to a home for elderly this year, after my grandmother had months of being in and out of the hospital. They are really getting old now, not going outside any more, and memory slowly going backwards. Which is not that strange, since they are 88 and 89 years old. It’s already an amazing achievement they managed to live by themselves for all these years.

I also started to get along with my aunt better. She is quite judgemental, which is difficult to deal with sometimes, but I manage to ignore that more and more, and focus on her good sides. We had an amazing weekend in Edinbrough, nicer than most of our weekends away in preceding years.


I met a lot of new people this year. Some of which I will probably grow closer to and develop a good friendship with in the next year, and some of which will stay at the borders of my life. My old friendships did not get as much attention as I would have liked. One of my friends moved away to another city in the end of 2008, so I saw way less of her than in the years before, and the other ‘university’-friends I also saw less, mostly due to busy schedules on my side. The same goes for my metalfriends. I’m extremely happy I’ll celebrate new year’s eve with them, because I missed them lots the past year.


I started on my master thesis this year, with a very interesting topic: media-influences on gender stereotypes. Everything is going as planned until now, but joining a action-platform against the reducing of funding by the government for education in general and students in particular, will probably cause slight delay next year.

This year I also started more new work-like volunteer things than ever before: I joined the editorial board for a magazine on gender en feminism, and wrote a few pieces for them as well (first time being published, yay!), I became a ticket-control-person for a music venue (best secondary benefits ever: always going to concerts for free, and more than 50% discount on drinks), and on the verge of this year I also started an internet-forum about bisexuality (which might even broaden itself to the topic of all ‘deviant’ kinds of sexuality and relationships).


Still together with the boyfriend. There were some problems around the summer, but we solved them, and now we’re better than ever. And our future plans are getting more and more shape. Our relationship also became a bit more open this year, on our way to something more polyamourous. I also had a few crushes, and kissed a girl. Or two XD Nothing really substantial came from that, relationshipwise, but it was quite note-worthy nevertheless.


I wanted to start meditating more this year, so I recently did a short course, which was quite nice. I still don’t do it as often as I would like though… Also, I joined a internet-forum which has a down to earth view on spirituality to have some extra primer to muse on certain things. I’d like to get more into some non-fuzzy paganism, I think. Living closer to nature really appeals to me, especially foodwise, but also just in having more attention to the cycles of the seasons.


I got more into medieval stuff, although I can’t name any bands, it’s more the style in general that really started to appeal to me. No new bands discovered this year, although I did get more into Sabaton, Turisas and Kate Nash than before.

My favourite performance of this year was Anathema, in my “own” venue. That concert kicked ass. They played all the favourites, came back twice after leaving, and the atmosphere was amazing.


Relatively non-existent this year. I have never gone this long without intercourse since my first time at 16. This year I acknowledged I was raped by my ex-boyfriend Viking, and I started a very slow healing process, to heal all the hurt that was caused when people stepped over my boundaries. Bdsm came a bit back into my life, although it is still nowhere as important as it used to be. There are still a lot of fears to be conquered before all goes well in that area again.

Stuff that should be mentioned but did  not fit in any of the other categories

– I moved from a very sucky place to a much nicer place. Although it is a bit smaller, my landlord is way nicer than my former landlady. A relatively small change, that affected my life in a very positive sense.

– (Juice)fasting is not nice, and only makes me think about food. I am never going to try that again…

– More food-related stuff: I started eating meat again, after being a vegetarian for 11 years. I missed meat, but especially fish, a lot, and decided that that craving was too large to be ignored. I still don’t eat huge quantities of meat, and usually only when I’m at someone else’s place or at a restaurant.


I don’t really do resolutions, because I try to change stuff if I come across it during the year, not just at one point every 365 days. But well, since it is sort of obligatory:

– more meditation. My goal is to meditate daily (be it 5 minutes or a full hour), to be achieved before summer.

– paying more attention to my energy-level. I tend to overdo it, because there are so many amazing people and nice things to do in life. This goal is best operationalized as more time for myself without having to have to do stuff: each week, one day without appointments (may be a university-day).

– get (more) in touch with my sexual self again: there is some sort of plan now, the Master’s and Johnson approach, but now we (the boyfriend and I) need time and space to actually follow up on this plan. Which makes it very much connected with the goal before this one: more time for myself is more space in my head is more room for my sexuality

– Write more, for self-reflection, for my dairy, for my blog, poetry, stories, etc. No clear operationalized goal or deadline here, since that will decrease my creativity more than it will benefit from that.

– Spend less time behind the computer and read more, and cook/bake more. Which is also related to the energy-level goal, since the interwebs can grab you and take away all your energy. Mwahahaha!

Comments (1) »

From the land of metaphors: the wave.

I talked about the wave before. Right now, I’m on it. Quite stable, actually, although I almost fell of this afternoon. I started to feel stressed about the busy week that is coming up. A few deadlines for my experiment, articles I have to edit, events I’m volunteering for, friends I’m going to see…

But then I did some meditation, had good food, did some preparation for next week (like making sure my mailbox is empty, that always makes for a good start), and watched about three Gilmore Girls episodes (I’m in season 4 now. Again ;)). I was already relaxed after the meditating, but the rest of the evening filled my battery again, so I next week can be as filled as last week was, without me collapsing.

Because I can. I can work 6 to 8 hours a day at university. I can do two volunteer jobs, and even do some extra stuff for an organization for bisexuality. I can see many people, and have intense interactions with friends, without having to recover a lot.

It’s my wave, I’m moving quickly, but I’m still stable, and capable of pulling myself up again when I start slipping. I know the dangers, where the sharp rocks are, where I can get stranded on a sandbank. But I’m still on here, I’ve learned, I’ve grown, and I feel better than ever.

Comments (4) »

Juice-fast: fail!

What I learned in the past days:
– I love food
– I hate hunger
– vegetable-juices for fasting are disgusting
– hunger makes me nauseous (and the juice did not help)
– hunger makes me only think about food
– three days of hunger decreases your self-control immensely

For that last reason I quit my juice-fast yesterday evening around 20:30. I knew that when I would continue fasting for two more days, I would not be able to control myself anymore and go on a food binge (something I never do). I started with a ricewaffle with low-fat cheese, and have been eating relatively normal ever since. I really really really love food, and I’m never going to do this again. I do not see this as a failure. I tried, and I decided this is not for me.

Just had a few small cinnamon-rolls (out of a package, but they’re pretty good, the boyfriend brought them for me <3, because he knows I love them and they were not there anymore when I wanted to buy some to take home with me, since you can’t buy them here), and a piece of milk chocolate with caramelized almonds and seasalt. And soon I’m going to have a nice cup of coffee *happy me*

Comments (3) »


Being hungry is not nice. And that while I’m still eating at the moment! Yesterday late afternoon and evening I had a headache, and felt really non-social. I suppose that is what less eating does to me. Tomorrow the real fast will begin, and I think that will be easier than yesterday and today, since eating a little bit seems harder than eating nothing at all. I’m also happier and happier I did not plan things for this weekend, since I suspect the not feeling social might stick. Also, because my pms starts this weekend (I skip the non-pil week of my contraceptives, but my body does not know that yet of course), which might not be really helpful in the process.

And of course, I know crave for all kinds of foods that I won’t have for at least 4 more days. Probably even a bit longer, because I have to slowly build up my food-intake again. I want chocolate with sea-salt, Dutch stew with fat sausage, hamburgers (self made, with lots of nice stuff), bake-off bread with cheese, potato-tuna salad… I even made a list with all the food ideas I have now XD I barely miss the coffee by the way, that’s a good thing, I suppose.

Comments (3) »

Short update on weight and such.

I decided I wanted to continue to lose some weight. When I got back from the boyfriend last week, I weighed 77kg (169.8 lbs). I had already stopped putting suger in my coffee, and now I also started to put (even more)  effort in eating healthy, especially in snacks between meals, because my main meals usually are quite healthy, also when I’m not actively trying to lose weight. I am allowing myself to “go wild” about once a week, on cake or whatever else nice I feel like, because else I don’t think I can make this healthy lifestyle really my own. (and because I love baking cakes and such, and else I would not be able to make a huge chocolate cake next week, with a filling of orange-curd and a layer of ganache over it ;))

And of course, when I’m not at the boyfriend, I do a lot of cycling, so that has probably also contributed that this morning I weighed about 75.5kg (166.4 lbs). A quick-start! Now I only have to buy batteries for my digital scale, because the analogue one I’m using now, is not very accurate.

Talking about the boyfriend, he also decided he really wants to lose some weight (he’s not the lightest guy around, and had gained a bit more the past months), so he’s going back to the gym regularly, and is going to try to eat healthier. He even got Weight-Watchers information! Go him! *cheers*

Leave a comment »



I have been thinking about it a little while, and read multiple websites about the topic, and I think I am going to try it: juice-fasting. I have never done a fast, and I am interested how it will affect me, both physically and mentally. Also, I hope it will be good changing-point to get rid of the habit of eating sugary, fat and unhealthy stuff too often. I had stopped buying chocolate and the like, but I started again, and the fast seems like a good way to get rid of that habit again. I might also try to get into the raw-food craze that seems to be going around nowadays. Also, I hope it’ll make me get used to eating a bit less than what I do now. Losing weight is not a main goal, but it would be nice to lose some kilos, and even nicer if the excess weight kept away.

I’m going to do a short fast, 3 to 5 days, depending on what my body tells me. I am going to build op in three days, substituting one more meal each day with just fruit, quark, or salad, and eating more raw veggies in general. Then the fasting days follow, in which I’ll drink 1 liter of fruit juice and about 2 liters of water or herbal tea. After that I’ll slowly get myself used to eating solid foods again. Starting with just fruit and veggies, soups, and light foods.


And of course I’ll blog on the progress  and such. I think I’m going to start the fast itself on the 11th of september, a friday (which is my free day, plus the weekend, which makes fro 3 days I can be grumpy or otherwise unnice company without anyone being annoyed with it), which means I’ll start preparing on tuesday the 8th.

Comments (1) »