Archive for April, 2010

On give-aways: Annoyance level reached.

Give-aways are a common thing in the blogosphere. When a blog gets enough readers, companies might send a blogger a sample product (relevant to the blog’s topic) to write about. And when a blog has even more readers, the companies might even want to give away stuff through a contest. Sometimes the blogger itself is a nice person, and makes a contest around something self-bought or -made.

This is very nice and all, but why are those contest always just including USA and sometimes Canada? Europe (where I live) is always excluded, and so are Australia, Africa, Asia and South America. Or maybe I just read the wrong blogs? It’s not that I desperately want to win stuff (although I did come across items that were very nice), but acknowledgement that there are also readers outside of the USA, would be  nice, every once in a while.

And the solution is so simple: just share the shipping costs with the winner, or let the winner pay all. Problem solved, and reader annoyance vanished.


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It’s my blog and I can write what I want to.

Where this blog started out to document changes, mainly on the field of sexuality and relationships, and a bit on mental health and physical health, it soon became a place where I also got involved in discussions on feminist topics and reflections on things like postsecret, and the health-part got a bit out of the picture. Lately here was still some on my personal ups and downs, some on bdsm and poly, but the original goal of the blog seems to be lost. This is not problematic to me, it just shows that people evolve over time. But I’d still like to do a recap.

Compared to a year ago:

  • … I haven’t lost weight (lost it and gained it over time, and now want to lose it again).
  • … the boyfriend and I are still not having sex, although there is more intimacy, and lots more fun in the whole thing.
  • … there is more bdsm between, although this process is slow as well. There are several problems that need to be overcome, which mostly have to do with trust.
  • … I am way more stable, both in stress as in emotions, although there are still highs and lows of cours.
  • … there has been huge progress on the poly part. Where our relationship first was monogamous, we are now semi-polyamoureus, with me being allowed to persue girls. There even was some bdsm with not even one, not two, but three someone elses. Although that part is still quite difficult for the boyfriend.

It’s the beginning of spring. The time of year to start anew. On to new things, new experiences!

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Suspension <3

Bondage rocks. I have been loving ropes since the beginning of my bdsm-career, but I never had partners who had a lot of experience in this field. I started anew with at least three people, so more extreme stuff than a harness, binding of breasts and tying together wrists had never happened.

Luckily, I do have friends who are very into bondage, and also into suspension. So a few weeks ago I asked Dancer if he could do a suspension with/to me. He liked the idea, and the boyfriend was fine with it too, so one week later the boyfriend and I went over to Dancer’s place. In the middle of the living room he had put a hook in the ceiling, which was stable and strong enough to handle a body hanging from it.

I started with getting (almost) naked, and Dancer started with a chest-harness and tying my arms behind my back. This gave some slight problems because me arms started to hurt relatively quickly, but the pain passed after the ropes were adjusted a bit. The next part that got ropes around it were my thighs, after which the harness was attached to the ceiling-hook. We decided on a sitting position, so first my right leg went up in the air, followed by my left.

… which lead to so much pain in my arms, that I had to be led down immediately.

We did some ground-bondage afterwards (also so the boyfriend could learn), but I felt quite disappointed, because I had been looking forward to hanging in the air a lot.

Luckily, the next chance presented itself just three days ago. I spend sunday-afternoon at a play-party with some friends. I used to be a regular there, but because of the end of a relationship and the distance (1.5hours by train), I had not been there in a while. There I re-met a women,  who I had talked with a bit on a party two years ago. When I saw another women in the ropes, I made a comment on her possible dizzyness since she was being swirled around, the woman offered to let me experience it for myself.

First semi-nakedness again, then some ropes above and under my breasts, and some around my hips, in a very simple way. Then some ropes around my ankles, separate from each other. After some fiddling with the suspension-point, I went up in the air, horizontal, belly-down.

I was being made to twirl in circles, and swinging back and forth. She discovered that I squeel when being hit hard enough with a wooden spoon, and I discovered that being stroked with a fox-tail is incredibly nice and soft. The most difficult thing was breathing, unexpectedly, especially because the rope around my hips kept sliding to my belly. Because of that, it did not last as long as I would have ideally liked.. I was taken back to the ground, the ropes went off, and after a big hug, I went back into the real world again, with friends and chinese food.

picture from here

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