The boyfriend wrote this amazing post about what he wants in a relationship, after a nice weekend, which had a bit too much turmoil in it’s tail. And you know, I think that is what I want too (give or take some small details).
Sometimes I want more freedom, sometimes I feel trapped, sometimes I’m tired of waiting for stuff to be better, and those feelings can be quite strong and intense. Sometimes this intensity is strength is so high that I burst. I’ll try to make my point come across in a very blunt and hurtful way. And since these are my extremes, I overstate what I want in those situations and the timeframe in which I want them.
The storm has passed now. The storm that consisted of me almost breaking up with him, still staying together but a restless night and lots of the wrong kind of hurt and pain for the both of us. I now look back and don’t see how I could’ve made so much fuss about such relatively small things. I love the boyfriend, I am very happy with him, with all that we have, and I see the progress we’re making, so why did I burst out like that?
The extremeness, the intensity of my emotions is part of who I am, but this went a bit too far. It felt too illogical, too unpredictable. I’m going to try not to do this again. Don’t know how yet, but I’ll figure it out along the way.
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