My view on sexual orientation.

I think sexual orientation is fluid, and changes over time. Also, it has more components than just sex. It is also about relational aspects and about who you fall in love it.

I see myself as bisexual, because I can fall in love with both men and women. This is my personal definition. For many terms people use to describe themselves, everyone has a personal view on it. Some people see themselves as bisexual when they want to have sex with people of both sexes but only want love relationships with one. Other people feel that some experimenting with the other sex than they usually are sexual with, makes them bisexual. And then I’m not even going into other, even broader and more multi-interpretable terms like ‘pansexual‘ and ‘queer‘ as sexual orientation.

Both these terms I like a lot, and I might use those terms in the future to identify myself. Mostly because I do see the problem that the term ‘bisexual’ assumes a binary view of gender, while there are much more variations than just two.  And I do not care about gender in the people I am attracted to. But I think it might take some more time while walk around in the bisexual community and maybe getting to know people who don’t see themselves falling into the three ‘accepted’ orientations, for me to see that term fitting to me.

And yes, if everyone can define for themselves what a term means to them, the term in itself stops having a pre-defined meaning. You won’t know immediately what the sexual orientation of a person is when that person uses their personal term. But you probably will know what kind of person someone is, because people who call themselves queer will probably look at life differently than people who call themselves heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.


3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    nicely done.


  2. 3

    Luc Houtkamp said,

    Although of course people are free to have any opinion about their sexual identity, I can’t understand that people argue that they have a certain identity by birth. I mean, how do they know, other than they feel it? How could I say that I was born that way, I can’t remember my own birth, as nobody can! 🙂

    Maybe a good subject for the bi-forum?

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