My two cents in the whole abortion discussion.

This is reaction to the post on abortion of the boyfriend which is a reaction to the post of Britni.

I do have a strong intuitive feeling on abortion: it is the choice of the woman, since it is her body the fetus will be growing in. It is her body that will have to go through all the problems a pregnancy may bring, and last but not least, the birth itself. Only for this reason, setting all the “it’s better for the sake of the child”-arguments aside, the women has the only right to choose what is best for her. If she chooses to take the possible future life of the fetus into account, that is her choice. If she chooses to give the possible father a voice in the matter, that is her choice. Ultimately, it is her body that has to go trough everything, so it’s her choice.

For me, there also is not much of a moral problem. When the pregnancy is under 20 weeks (or was is 24? well, something like that) the fetus can not survive if it would been born*. So, for me, it does not count as a person, since it has no chance on surviving, even with medical care. Abortion is not a problem there, and cannot be called “killing”, because I don’t feel like you can call something “killing” if it can not be alive by itself. After those weeks have passed, however, abortion is not an option any more. Luckily, usually women do realise before that time they might be pregnant (although the stories of exceptions on that, can be quite sad).

So, here is my stance on this. I do hope I never have to make that choice, because even when I am quite clear on where I stand rationally, emotionally it is probably one of the hardest ones someone can ever make. Although that has also to do with “blaming” women for having abortions, and the taboo on talking about being happy that you had one. Getting rid of that line of thought, together with that pregnancy and birth is happy happy joy joy, is very needed.

Image from radical rags

*I do see the problem here that medical discoveries can be made, that would make fetuses be able to stay alive after a shorter gestational period. That would make the time frame in which a women can choose to have an abortion shorter, if you follow my reasoning. At this moment however, this feels like a reasonable boundary for me, both in the time women have to discover they’re pregnant and make the choice for abortion or not, and because this is how the state of medical care, at the moment. I might have to revise my argument, if medical discoveries indeed follow that path, but we are not there yet.

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5 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    I do hope I never have to make that choice, because even when I am quite clear on where I stand rationally, emotionally it is probably one of the hardest ones someone can ever make.

    This is so, so true. Even though I don’t want kids, I still felt guilty and torn up about my decision to have the abortion. It’s not an easy choice, no matter how pro-choice you are.

  2. 2

    Cy-V said,

    I had to make that choice, and I chose against it. In my opinion, even though it can’t live on it’s own, it will become a live, and you decide whether you are allowing it to become a person, in the long run.
    To make things clear, I’m not against abortion. I am happy people have that choice, for some it could be life-ruining, and sometimes not even in the best interest of the child. But personally, I draw the line somewhere around the end of the first trimester. I’d have to look it up, but has to do with it resembling a tiny human being. So to me, it does feel like killing.* (Somewhere where it shifts from being an embryo to fetus)
    Morning after pills are ok with me, abortion pills same deal, but for are abortion types: Not carelessly.
    And I think, even though if you want to, and you’re completely behind the choice of having an abortion, the choice is still hard, because quite frankly: you’re body does it’s very best to make you love that little thing inside you.

    *But that might just have something to do with the fact I lost the baby in the 13th/14th week, and it felt like losing a child, not a fetus. And, the fact I knew a 13-week-old could already suck his/her thumb didn’t help either.

    I do feel fathers have a say in abortion. Even though it’s the mother carrying the child, he is a parent too, and has (shock!) emotions too. Many fathers have pregnancy symptoms during their girlfriend’s/wife’s pregnancy, which is extremely hilarious to me btw. I do think women should have the final say, because their body is not a vessel for babies, but I think the father’s wishes should be taken into account. Thing is, it doesn’t happen a lot the woman carries a child for it to be raised by the father, instead of just the mother. Actually, I think that (unfortunately) those women would be frowned upon for not having those maternal instincts.

  3. 3

    Marijke said,

    A bit late but:

    “I don’t feel like you can call something “killing” if it can not be alive by itself”

    People on life support cannot live by themselves, but when they have a good chance of surviving I find it unethical to take them off that live support. I’ve never understood the “outside the womb the child could not survive on its own” argument.. weird. I don’t understand how that’s relevant in any way.

    I’m not sure when an organism gets the right to live. I think cows do not have the right te live, and I think humans and some other apes do. But I do not why..

    • 4

      Nuclear Rainbow said,

      hihi, I clearly see your point, since I did discuss this with my boyfriend endlessly. I think I see it somewhat like this: if it was alive before, living on is something that always should be aimed at. A fetus has not been alive before, so therefore does not have this “right”. But I do agree it’s relatively arbitrary, and it’s mostly something decided on feeling, to which afterwards a reasoning is made.

  4. 5

    PaulV said,

    I feel as well that it should be the mother’s choice whether to abort or not. However I also think that if the father doesn’t want the child and the mother does, that the father shouldn’t be held liable legally. As it is (correct me if I’m wrong), they can be sued for child support, so in effect the mother has the choice to burden the father financially. I think that choice should be with the father, just as the physical burden on the mother during pregnancy is hers to choose.

    So basically, I feel that any part of the burden (and joy if applicable of course) of parenthood should be elective for both parents.


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