The Masters and Johnson Sex Therapy Plan

This was supposed to go in my last post, but that one turned out long enough as it is, so here is a full post dedicated to the method of getting sexuality back in couples life, in a positive way, by Masters and Johnson. The following post is a translation/adaptation of the information I got from  my sexologist.

It is a phase program with 7 different phases. Each phase takes the exercises a bit further. Usually it is advised to create one free spot every week, for about an hour, for this, but of course this is not possible in my situation. In every phase, except the last two,a clear division of roles is advised: one partner gives and the other receives. Of course, the partners should switch roles after a while. And talking and reflecting about it with each other is advised, also, for example, in he shape of a diary.

Phase 1: No sex. To get rid of pressure, for one or both of the partners, to let sexual tension build up again, and/or to work on other aspects on the relationship that need to be addressed before sex can come into the picture.

Phase 2: non-erotic sensations. This is about touch, about stroking the other, or being stroked by the other. Erogenous zones should be avoided in this exercise. The giving partner should do what feels good to him or her, and the receiving partner should give feedback, which can also be done without talking, by guiding the other partners hand, for example. The goal is to (re)learn what feels nice, to enjoy, to build up sexual tension, while there is no pressure. This exercise should be done multiple times, first without, and maybe later with massaging oil. When this all feels nice and comfortable, a couple can go on to the next phase.

Phase 3:  + erogenous zones. This exercise is similar to the one in phase 2, with the inclusion of erogenous zones, like breast, nipples, the vagina and the penis. The stroking should happen in a way that is pleasurable to the receiving partner. The couple can progress to the next phase, when they feel comfortable with this.

Phase 4: + aimed at excitement. Here is becomes more sexual. The exercise is the same as in phase 3, but the goals here is to play with the arousal level of the receiving partner. The receiving partner should say when she or he gets aroused, and the giving partner should then let the arousal drop a bit by stroking less erogenous zones, before letting the arousal rise again. Also mouth and tongue can be used in this exercise.

Phase 5: + orgasm. This exercise starts with the exercise of phase 4. The difference is that the arousal level should be kept high, so the receiving partner can experience the “plateau-phase” (the phase where the arousal stops rising, but stays at the same high level for a while, before orgasm). To reach orgasm, the receiving partner should be able to focus on him or herself a while, and this exercise should create the space for that, without the orgasm becoming a goal in itself. If a partner doesn’t want an orgasm, that is completely fine. If a partner prefers to give him- or herself an orgasm, that is fine too.

Phase 6:  intercourse without movement. This exercise should start with extensive foreplay. When both partners are aroused, the women should guide the penis inside her vagina. The couple can stay in this position for as long as they like. Than the man should pull back, and the couple can, if they want to, pleasure each other in other ways.

Phase 7:  intercourse with movement. This exercise is the same as in phase 6, only now movement is “allowed”. Keep in mind that foreplay is very important, the orgasm should not be the ultimate goal, afterplay is important too, you let your partner know what is nice and less nice.

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