I almost feel like a cartoon character with those clouds above it’s head.

The past days, maybe even the past weeks, I have been feelings physically tired and mentally depressed. Those two are probably related, maybe by mediation of the days getting shorter, I’m not precisely sure.

The depressed feelings are literally clouded. They make me lose my focus, lose my self-confidence, my reasoned judgement. They fuelled my post about jealousy, they even make me doubt my own abilities sometimes. The world is just a tad bit darker when I am in a mood like this.

Weirdly enough, making good progress on my master thesis and all the things surrounding that, make me feel a lot better. Which shows me that it probably not only the darker days that make me feel dark, but that stress also plays a major role in this. Working hard -> more stuff done -> less feelings of stress. But the relief usually does not last very long, sadly enough.

I’m not sure yet how I’m going to deal with this. Because how I’m dealing with this now obviously is not working, since the down and grumpy feelings rather seem to be increasing than decreasing. Taking even better care of myself, more focus on what feels good, more focus on what I really want. Too bad that in my clouded mind everything seems bland and relatively uninteresting…

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