The “problem” with polyamoureus groups of friends.

Having a polyamoureus friendsgroup makes for new kinds of jealousy.

I am not a very jealous person when it comes to my friends, usually. I have a few separate groups of friends, and within those groups there are more meetings with the persons in the group one on one, than meetings of the complete group. I like it that there is not one middle-point-person in all of these groups, that there are multiple links from one to another. Sometimes I do find it a bit difficult if one friend of one group meets more with another friend of that one group very often, but that usually means that I just want to see that other friend more often too, and that’s  most of the time just one phonecall or text message away.

But with my group of polyamoureus friends and acquintances it’s a whole different story, because for some reason they all seem to be hitting on each-other and kissing each-other and everything, and I am not included in that. Now that makes me jealous. It’s not that I blame them, because the people I know tend to be nice, so of course they want to be close together. It’s not that I want to be intimate with all of those people either, but the fact that I just seem to be completely forgotten and overlooked, is kind of painful. Maybe it is because I don’t see them all that often, maybe it is because they know that my relationship is not completely open, but the reason that pops up in my (sometimes very insecure) mind the strongest, is that I’m just not nice enough.

Most likely this is all bullshit. And most likely it is similar to the “want for more contact”-jealousy that I sometimes feel with the friends out of other groups, despite that this feels more mean and ugly. So most likely I’ll feel much better if I have met friends out of that polyamoureus group again. Be there kissing or not.


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    […] make me lose my focus, lose my self-confidence, my reasoned judgement. They fuelled my post about jealousy, they even make me doubt my own abilities sometimes. The world is just a tad bit darker when I am […]

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