The Night keeps me busy.

The past two weeks I have been dreaming a lot, and the dreams where all quite intense. Every morning I woke up with the dream still in my head.The dreams cover mostly the bad stuff in my life or the things I’m scared of.

Like my former landlady, who I slapped in the face in the dream.

Like the asshole-ex, who in my dream had this amazingly nicely decorated house, and for some reason I came by there and he and  his mother kept criticising and hurting me.

Like last night, where I was pregnant with a very big belly (although secretly, it felt sort of good and happy, while in reality I really don’t want kids now, and don’t see myself having them in the future).

Like discovering all kinds of new rooms in the house/room where I live now, and getting yelled at by my new landlord.

Like sitting on a little fence with a good friend of mine, and when we get home (which was nice, we saw celebrities riding by in cars!), and I stand at the kitchen sink to get some food, she stepped behind me, and started stroking me and rubbing against me, so I turned around and kissed her (all the while thinking “I haven’t asked the boyfriend, so this is not okay!”), and we ended up on the floor, where it turned out she had a penis and she grinned evily and wanted me to suck her cock even while I told her I didn’t want that, so I pushed her off me and kicked her out of the house (together with her friend who was suddenly there too, who was Gabriele Solis from Desperate Housewives; it’s still a dream, and has all the dream weirdness in it ;))

Intense dreaming like this is usually a sign of stress.  That I feel a bit stressed, even if I consciously not feel that, is not very weird, because two weeks ago I started with my internship, which means I actually have to do things again. Things that are important and mean a lot to me and to my future. So I decided to start meditating again, and even follow a meditation-course in september. Hopefully that will give me the peace in my mind I need.

edit: I just realised that dreaming wise it might be chaos, that sleep wise it isn’t. I do wake up after 8 hours of sleep, without any problem when there is no alarm. The problem starts to be there when the 8 hours should be over at 7am in the morning, but that is probably just something which takes time to get used to.

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