This week is a weird week. First, there was this evening where out of nowhere there was some bdsm-ish play between me and India-girl. It made me feel happy and giddy for a couple days. Then there was the death-day of my sister, who died seven years ago after a car-accident. That same day I got a call from my father, who told me that my grandmother, 88 years old, had passed away. As planned weeks before, the boyfriend came over, which made for some much needed comfort. We still followed up on our plan to try out some bondage with a friend of ours. It was quite intense and emotional for the both of us. This morning I felt very uncertain about our relationship, but that was resolved after some good talking. Unrelated to that little crisis, I asked him to go home, because I prefer to deal with the pain and grief about my grandmother by myself.

This week my emotions went from extremely happy and hyper, to completely and utterly sad. I do think I dealt with all of it relatively well, staying close to what I felt, and acting what was best for me at any given moment. It also was, and still is, tiring as hell. I am planning to create some extra rest the next couple of days, with lots of reflection and possibly lots of writing.